Summer is quickly winding down, but I still thought I'd mention some ideas for you special folks out there who don't seem to be able to enjoy summer properly without getting on the nerves of every blessed person near them:
10. Do not complain about your sunburn. Sunburns are highly preventable. Lotions, creams and sprays with high SPF are in most grocery stores, convenience stores, and dollar stores and they are easy to use. Double don't complain if you get made fun of for raccoon eyes, or lobster face.
9. Do not go to the pool and stare disapprovingly down your nose at all the children who are splashing and yelling and goofing around. If you want a nice, quiet pool to read your book by, you'll have to get one for your own backyard.
8. Do not go to a community attraction and complain about how crowded it is. People go places during the summer, frequently in groups. Double do not ask "where did all these kids come from?", as if you have exclusive rights to the zoo, museum or park.
7. If you attend a public celebration that involves fireworks, do not take your canine companion unless you are visually impaired. (In if you are visually impaired, why are you going to the fireworks display?) Dogs don't like loud noises. They will be very upset, and since you are obviously VERY busy, videoing the fireworks, there will be no one to comfort your poor doggie.
6. Do not smoke over the heads of small children, yours or anyone else's. Period.
5. Don't take your children to a local church for Vacation Bible School when they are outside the ages stated on all of their literature, signs and doors. They haven't recruited workers to deal with your (non potty-trained) 2 1/2 year old, so you'll need to deal with your own little darling at your home.
4. If you MUST plan your outdoor wedding in July, please evaluate the terrain. Folding chairs, plus a hill, plus sweet Great-Aunt Millie may not be a good combination. Also, if YOU plan YOUR outdoor wedding in July, you MAY NOT complain about how hot your clothes are.
3. If you part of a happy couple, keep your happy-coupleness to yourselves. There is no reason that parents should have to worry that the local pool, grocery line or theme park is rated NC-17 due to your PDA.
2. Don't use the temperature as an excuse to gripe about the town/county/state you are currently living in. Even if you are here temporarily, most of us are here by CHOICE. We like it despite the heat, crunchy grass and all.
1. Don't get in my sun, don't knock over my margarita, and don't drip on my book!
Enjoy the rest of your summer!
You made me laugh out loud. Many of these thoughts were like they came out of my own head....except for the temperature one because I have been complaining about the heat like a major whiner! So, you got me there. Let's just hope others recognize themselves in some of the other points and the world will be a better place!
ReplyDeleteohooo, loved this list, and I can think of a few people I wouldn't mind sharing it with. Thanks for visiting my place today.
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