I'm working my way slowly, with exercise and St. John's wort, out of a funk. Something that I have been doing during the process of funk-busing is trying to evaluate whether I could've done some things differently to prevent winding up here in the first place. As much as it hurts, I have realized that I probably should've done some things differently.
Now, I'm not saying I could've prevented school starting, or my family's particular type of dysfunction from sucking, but I could've been in better shape to deal with it.
I had NO social life this summer (outside of the 4 kids). My schedule with my Bunco buddies worked out that I only went and played once this summer. Additionally, my best friend has moved away and I only made the trip to see her once.
Spiritually, I didn't take good care of my soul. The Bible study that I had been in ended in early June, and I didn't sign up for another. I thought "I don't have time". Additionally, due to family obligations and our family vacation, I missed three Sundays in a row at church.
Physically, I was tired. Vacations are always fun but exhausting for adults, especially mommies. I also hadn't been exercising. The Engineer and I had been working out together (sporadically) before school ended, but it got back-burnered once summer arrived.
All in all, it was the "perfect storm" of factors that kept me from dealing well with my situation. I should have taken better care of myself. I matter too. I've always hated that thing the flight attendants tell you about putting on your own oxygen masks first, and THEN helping your child, but I know it's true.
So, my oxygen mask is this: I'm trying to write every day, I've joined a Zumba class and I going to start a Bible study on the 12th. What about you? What's your personal "oxygen mask"?
Ahhh, I think you are being a little hard on yourself. The summers are like that... things always get thmeselves back on track somehow.
ReplyDelete